Pear-Shaped Women: Hold Your Head High

A new study has found that "pear-shaped" women (whose buttular area might be larger than the rest of their body) may be protected against type 2 diabetes. Read about it here.

An excuse to let the Thighmaster collect dust? I think so.

New Citizenship Test

"The Citizenship and Immigration Services has re-designed the citizenship test for immigrants who want to become naturalized Americans, revamping the questions for the first time since 1986," according to Fox News.

The new oral test is 100 questions, which is given to applicants along with the answers, to study. The actual test is 10 questions, of which they have to get 6 right to pass. Fox News asked several people 10 random questions from the test (read the article). Using their questions, I got 8 out of 10. How about you?

Something Blue

My sister sent me this photo of a runway dress from somewhere. Because she knows me so well, what style I like and of course, that I love blue.

I would LOVE to have this dress. Though I might chop off the random yellow ribbon. Maybe.

And I'd be smiling when I wore it.

Times like these make me want to get a sewing machine, find a similar pattern, and wish I was a competent seamstress.

"The Pink Dachshund"

I have an eye for All Things Dachshund, and was not expecting to find a nice story about one (albeit, a pink one) in Skirt! magazine, the Atlanta edition.

[I picked up Skirt! only because it was free; it took me a month to finally sit down and read it. I wasn't that impressed with it because (1) I'm not a big shopper, (2) I'm not rich, (3) I don't live the hip, urban/city lifestyle, (4) I'm not a feminist in the Gloria Steinem/ultra-liberal/any-kind-of-liberal sense of the word, and (5) the target audience of the magazine seems to be a combination of all of the above. Plus, easily 90% of it is ads, or ads disguised as articles. I know, I know, that's why it's free, but still. I will say that the brief profiles of women in a variety of professions - not just wedding gown designers or CEOs - were interesting as well.]

So I was hurrying through Skirt! until I found a piece called "The Pink Dachshund." All skimming screeched to a halt, and I enjoyed reading about a pink balloon dachshund that changed how the author viewed her boss.

Dachshunds are like that. They change the world for the better.

Defending the Dress

A long time ago when I read Reader's Digest on a regular basis because someone I knew had a subscription, I also masochistically read the "That's Outrageous!" section. I hated reading this section, which detailed odd legislation and court decisions (such as when a criminal breaks into someone's house and gets shot when the homeowner defends his property, then the criminal sues the homeowner for shooting him - and wins). The section was like watching a horror movie - you want to look away, but you can't. I couldn't believe some of the things that actually occur in this country, but I couldn't stop reading, either.

Today I ran across a story that would be a perfect candidate for "That's Outrageous!" (if RD still includes that section?).

Apparently, it is not against the law in Oklahoma for idiots to stick a camera under a woman's dress in public and take a picture.

Because, according to the state Court of Criminal Appeals, the woman is in a public space where there is no "reasonable expectation of privacy" (which is sort of the litmus test phrase when dealing with legal issues of privacy).

In a weird, twisted world, one could see how the court's argument makes sense to some people - the woman IS "in public." (The incident took place at a store.)

However, you'd think that there is a "reasonable expectation of privacy" UNDER a woman's dress. I GUESS NOT.

One of the dissenting appeals judges wrote, "In other words, it is open season for peeping Toms in public places who want to look under a woman's dress."

And the peeping pervert's defense attorney (why must we implicate poor random "Tom"?) blames the law for allowing such a loophole. Absolutely, utterly ridiculous. This means there's another issue to write your state legislator about and make sure that the LOOPHOLE is closed in your state.

In the mean time, I refuse to change my clothes in deference to the depraved.

Ladies, I say that when some jerk comes around with a camera and tries to pull this stunt, scream "Sexual harassment!" That kind of currency goes a lot farther these days.

And make sure you're wearing a beautiful dress, so that you'll look good on TV when you're interviewed.

Guest Review: From a 3-Year-Old

Found this on the Mental Floss blog. A 3-year-old girl's review of Star Wars.

Hi-larious.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=27687

Primary Focus

This past week has been consumed by the primary election. I worked several days of advanced voting as a poll worker last week, which is offered in our county the week before every election. Then yesterday for Super Tuesday, I worked as a precinct manager. I've been stressing about it for weeks, but our elections office is very good about training their workers and providing support.

My alarm clock was set for 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning, so I had planned to go to bed very early. But I didn't get enough sleep because

(1) I went to bed later than planned, and
(2) at 2 IN THE MORNING Darra decided she had a death wish - she began barking and generally acting as if it was time to wake up for the day, and WOULD NOT STOP.

Facing an 18 hour day on my feet with little sleep would be impossible without caffeine, but I managed it. God gave me energy all day, to the end. (Technically, I didn't feel like "crashing" until today, the next afternoon. Weird.)

My final task as precinct manager at the end of the night was delivering some items to the county office, where they were electronically tabulating the results. There was a huge screen in the room that continually updated the tallies, like C-SPAN (only for our county). Pretty interesting to watch the live updating as precincts reported in.

As I drove home around 9 p.m. (not too late!), I felt that sweeping sense of being a part of history - "my" precinct (not the one I vote in, just the one I managed) results were being counted, added to the others, and reported to the state, then reported nationally.

It was a satisfying end to the day. I'd prayed for a "boring" day, that people would come in, vote, and leave without incident. Prayer answered!

But I didn't want to ruin my nice evening by finding out the Final Results. Saved that for this morning.

Wrong on the Money

I took the "Quarter Back" challenge over at Mental Floss and failed miserably. This quiz tests your knowledge of the images on 20 State quarters. I had to outright guess on one because I had no idea what the image even WAS. Either my knowledge of U.S. topography and history is sadly lacking, or else I need to travel about the country more. The average score (at the time I took the quiz) was 58%. My score - and it's a testament to the trust I have in my readers that I will not be shamed out of the country by posting this:

40% (8 out of 20). I'd post the full results showing right/wrong answers, but that would make it too easy for YOU to take the quiz. At least I pegged the Kansas coin correctly, since we lived there for three years. (There, a little clue for you.)

The last time I scored a 40% on anything: Abstract Algebra test in college.

My feelings of failure regarding this quiz: 10%.

Organizing the Paper in Your Life

The following are my notes from a lecture given by Barbara Hemphill on January 10, 2008 at Perimeter Church in Duluth, GA. Hemphill is the author of Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and Taming the Paper Tiger at Work, and her website is www.hemphillinstitute.com. She became a professional organizer before there was such a thing, starting in the late 1970s. As one who loves to organize, I thought it would be fun to attend the lecture, especially since it was free. Hemphill was friendly, funny, and offered valuable advice and insight in one short hour, with time afterward for Q&A. In these notes, words or phrases in quotation marks and italicized are direct quotes taken word for word from the lecture. Words or phrases in bold indicate they are from the PowerPoint presentation that accompanied Hemphill’s lecture.

Barbara Hemphill (BH)
The Paper Tiger Tamed: The Freedom of an Organized Life

-- Romans 13:11 from The Message: “But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God.”
--What is “organized”? (answers from the audience:)
-A place for things
-Know where things are
-Be more efficient
-Better relationships
--Organizing is an Art TM (BH’s definition of organization)
(1) Does it work?
-Story of a vice president who had piles all over his desk but “couldn’t find anything” if he cleared his desk; he said the method worked for him. However, one Saturday a month, he had to go to the office to organize all his papers, thus missing kids’ soccer games and family time. After having BH come in to help him get organized, he said she gave him back that Saturday every month.
(2) Do you like it?
(3) Does it work for others?
-If you aren’t there, can others find it/use it?
(4) Can you “recover” quickly?
-If you went unannounced to BH’s home, you’d think, “SHE is an organizer?!” But if you call her to say you’re coming, she can have everything put away in 15-20 minutes – where it belongs.
--There’s an old adage: “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” BH agrees with the first part of that; everything SHOULD have its own place. But “everything in its place” is not true because things will always be out – projects, kids’ toys, bills, etc. But you should know where it goes, to its assigned space, NOT to a random closet or stashed under the bed.
--WHY organize?
--“Organization is not about neatness.”
--“Organization helps you do what you want to do.”
--Mission statement for BH’s company: “To help individuals and businesses organize time, space, and information so everyone can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives!”
--“Organizing in and of itself has no value.” You can spend all your time organizing, and nothing happens.
--HOW to organize?
--Transitions in life force your organization to change
--If you want to know what’s important to people, check their calendar and their checkbook
--Everything we do needs a system
--Saying “I want to be organized” – what does that mean to you?
--BH doesn’t like acronyms, but here’s one that a customer of hers from India developed that she loves: “SYSTEM”
Saving
You
Space
Time
Energy
Money
--3 Essential Components of ANY System:
(1) Methodology
(2) Mechanics
(3) Maintenance
--Some examples of Methodology:
-Why do people organize photos?
Example 1: BH knows a grandmother who has a trunk full of old photos, just haphazardly thrown in there. When her granddaughters come to play, this woman lets them open the trunk, pull out the photos, and play with them by making up stories about the people in the photos. [There was a huge gasp from the audience here.]
Example 2: BH’s daughter takes lots of pictures at an event with her digital camera. Then she picks which ones she wants to develop. From those, she chooses about 5 pictures to blow up to an 8x10 size. She puts the blown-up photos in a book, and throws everything else away. [Another huge gasp from the audience.]
--BH said that it’s shocking to many of us who hear these stories, but this is what they want. Your purpose determines HOW to organize your photos.
--Paper Tiger Principle #1: Today’s mail is tomorrow’s pile….
-“Organizing the paper in your life is non-negotiable if you want a quality of life.”
-Paper is like the foundation of a building
-You must create a system to manage the new paper. Only then can you organize the old paper. This is so that you don’t have new paper coming in and increasing the size of your piles while you try to organize the old stuff. Plus, by developing a system for the new paper, when you organize the old paper, you may realize that you don’t need to keep all the old paper.
--Paper Tiger Principle #2: Clutter is Postponed Decisions ®
-Think about a time when you tried to clear your desk. You start with the pile on the right side of the desk, and begin to go through the papers. You start with the paper on top – “I don’t want to deal with THAT yet…. We’ll put it over here.” And so on, until you’ve gone through the pile – and all you’ve done is moved it from the right side of your desk to the left side.
--The FAT System TM
File is “I don’t know if I’ll ever use it, but I don’t have the guts to throw it away.”
Act
Organize actions, or what you need to do, in 1 of 3 ways:
(1) By Date:
-Remember tickler or pending files 20 years ago? When a report had to get done by a certain day, a copy of the request went to the manager and to the secretary to file. It was the secretary’s job to remind the manager about the upcoming report and to remind him to send it on the day the report was due. [I’m not sure if I’m explaining this correctly, since this kind of thing was before my time!]
-BH heard about a guy who was developing something called a SwiftFile, which organized action files by date. She liked it so much, she bought the company. [More on this later.]
(2) By Type of Action (for example, data entry for addresses & phone numbers)
(3) By Name of Project
Toss
--Paper Tiger Principle # 3: Half of any job is using the right tool
-BH promoted her “To Do Book” here, which is a little 3-ring binder about 4x6 size, with tabs for various areas of life, to keep lists and ideas organized. Tabs included Calls, Errands, Fun, Books, Gifts, Numbers, etc.
-After helping 200 individuals get organized, BH tried to figure out what obstacles all of them had in common, what was the same for all. What is the core of getting people’s offices organized? She came up with:
-The Magic 6 TM
(1) Desktop Tools
-Most people have trays on their desk, but they’re pretty random. You need only 3 trays: In, Out, File. These trays fall under the 3rd Essential Component of Any System – Maintenance. When the File tray is full, you file the papers. Whatever’s in the Out tray needs to go wherever it should go. And so on. [I have to say here that with the way I work, these 3 trays would be the death of me. I would let them pile up, and things put in the Out tray would sit there forever and probably be late or miss a deadline, while the In tray would just never be dealt with. Maybe I didn’t hear her explanation well enough. ? This was one of the few things that she said that I didn’t necessarily agree with.]
(2) Wastebasket (Recycle/Shred)
-BH encourages clients to use a shallow desk drawer for items that need to be shredded or recycled. When the drawer is full, it’s time to shred or recycle.
(3) Calendar
-Widely used, of course, but “there is no perfect calendar!” because everyone is different and has different needs; choose the right one for yourself and use it well.
(4) Contact Management
-Addresses and phone numbers. We have little pieces of paper and napkins scattered with people’s info on them; need a system for how to deal with them
(5) Action Files
-“I’m afraid to file it because I’ll forget to do it”
-Put that action in a folder, then set a time on a calendar to do it, with where to find the folder
-BH is working with MS Outlook to develop software for this kind of thing, only you get sent an email instead of having to look at your calendar
(6) Reference Files
-The key to this is an Index
-The problem here is labeling/categorizing. Do you put this paper under Car? Auto? Chrysler? Insurance?
--Paper Tiger Principle # 4: Hemphill’s Principle
If you don’t know you have it,
or you can’t find it,
it is of no value to you.
--“Organization is not a moral issue.” You can keep everything you want if you’re willing to pay the price. Example of one businesswoman who had literally tens of thousands of files and had to hire 2 people full time to maintain and organize them.
--People feel guilty about their clutter; visitors don’t like to go to cluttered homes.
--BH has concluded that clutter is a sign of some type of significant loss in someone’s life
--“Clutter is a sin.” BH believes clutter is a stewardship issue
--We can’t be all Christ wants us to be when we’re drowning in our stuff
--She likes this quote that she heard from someone else: “Having Christ and everything is no better than having Christ and nothing.”
--She’s never met anyone who got organized who said they were sorry!
--The Art of Wastebasketry ®: Worst-case scenario?
-When in doubt, keep the paper. BUT remember Hemphill’s Principle! (If you don’t know you have it, or you can’t find it, it is of no value to you.)
-Identify how you will use this paper or item
-Example: The melon baller in your drawer. When was the last time you used it? Why is it taking up space in your drawer? What’s the worst thing that could happen if I didn’t have this?!
--Paper Tiger Principle # 5: The Next Action Factor TM
-You look at something and it reminds you of all the other things you need to do
-BH’s favorite tool: the index card
-She has several located everywhere in her house
-Write ONE idea or action on each card, then it’s easy to get it where it needs to be because nothing else is written on it
-One index card is less expensive than 1 Post-It note
-BH bought a “pocket briefcase” from a certain catalog [I didn’t catch the name of it]. It looks like a wallet, has 3 slots, and is the size of index cards. She keeps blank index cards in one slot, business cards in another, and written-on index cards in the other. When she gets home, she takes the written index cards and quickly files them in the proper places.
--Paper Tiger Principle # 6: The Focus Factor TM
-Our problem is having more ideas than the physical body can carry out!
-Robert Frost, "The Road Less Traveled," the first line is “Life is difficult.” BH was so disappointed when she read that! Because it’s true.
-Before going to bed, BH identifies the 3 most important things to do the next day. Not a project to do, but the next step in a project. The next morning, she does at least one of the items on the list BEFORE she opens her email!
-Picture of a roadside construction sign: “Prepare for sudden aggravation”
--Paper Tiger Principle # 7: Asking for help brings wisdom!
-She’s concerned about the organization industry; professional organizers are either burned out, or they don’t get paid enough.
-People “get organized,” but after the professional organizer leaves, the office/house goes back to the way it was because there’s no system in place to maintain the organization.
-Remember the 3 Components of Any System: Methodology, Mechanics, and Maintenance. In terms of prices, Methodology should cost the most. It’s the Big Picture level, requiring lots of experience and knowledge, and costs $100-200 an hour. Mechanics is the middle level and should cost $50-75 an hour. Maintenance is the lowest level, worth about $15-35 an hour. Most people in the organizing industry put their price in the middle and do all three levels at that price – this is what causes the burnout and in some cases the improperly low wage.
--The Productive Environment Process TM
(1) Design your vision
(2) Eliminate your obstacles
(3) Commit your resources (time, energy, money, space)
(4) Select your tools
-80% of what an organization consultant does is to help people choose and use the right tools
-Organization isn’t about stuff but about the people; you can’t do #4 without learning about #1-3
-We all organize in different ways, therefore we need different tools
(5) Maintain your success
-If 2 years after a professional organizer came through, the organization isn’t maintained, the professional organizer failed.
--The Freedom of an Organized Life TM: How does that sound to you?
From the Q&A:
--Q: I used to work in an office and was organized because I reported to someone. Now I’m at home and I have a 2-year old, and can’t get organized!
--A: Kids cause “circumstantial disorganization.” What worked in one situation will not work in another. Example for kids: After Christmas, I watched what my kids played with the most, and put the rest in boxes in the attic. 3 months later, I got out the other toys and it was like Christmas all over again. You can have kids pick the toys they don’t want any more and give them away. Use colored shelves, boxes, etc. for toys. Have a “grab shelf” in the kitchen – anything on the shelf is ok to eat without worrying that mom had other plans for it.
--Q: How long do you keep bills? When do you shred them?
--A: The question I get asked the most. There isn’t one answer; it isn’t the same for everyone. Ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Example: You have a 15-year warranty. Throw it out after 15 years; you don’t need to keep it anymore.
--Q: How to cross-reference various calendars?
--A: Have 1 master calendar and duplicate it to the others. Example: She has a second calendar in a certain spot just for her husband, which shows BH’s travel schedule for the year.
--Q: I have file cabinets and drawers in my office that I inherited that are full, but they can be emptied. How to go about this?
--A: Empty the most accessible drawer first and fill it with action folders. For companies, I encourage them to have a Company Production Day [I didn’t catch the actual title she gave it], where everyone takes a day to organize their desk, go through things, and throw stuff out. Turn it into an event, make it a party. Feed everyone, hire a professional/industrial shredder. Are there things in your office you can comfortably throw away? The answer is probably yes….
--Q: What about the trend for companies to go paperless?
--A: It’s usually a combination of paper & paperless. The question is, how far back to go paperless, and what goes paperless? Think of obstacles, develop a plan, etc.
--Q: What are some common tools for organizing spaces?
--A: Choose tools based on space, how many are needed, etc. And leave space for room to grow, especially with files. A label-maker! A lower-level organizer puts like things together and labels things.
--Q: How to organize tax information?
--A: There’s a chapter about this in Taming the Paper Tiger at Home. It depends on your style. One example: Keep a file for any tax-related items and deal with it later, in April! Maybe not the best way. Best thing to do: This year, think about what made it hard to do taxes this year? Then make changes and create a system for next year.
--Q: You mentioned a SwiftFile earlier. What is that?
--A: It’s a portable file folder box that holds 31 folders (one for every day of the month) and 12 folders (one for every month of the year). You put action files for specific dates into the appropriate folder, and deal with the right folder each day. You can watch a free 1-hour video on my website on how to use the SwiftFile. [www.hemphillinstitute.com]
--Q: [This was my question!] I used to be a teacher and now have 20 file boxes of all my teaching stuff. I’m slowly going through it, but it’s hard to throw stuff out because I worked so hard on it and because I might return to teaching some day. Any tips?
--A: If you have room for the boxes and it doesn’t bother you, then deal with it later. If you have kids and move and life changes, you’re going to have to deal with it sometime…. Or take a sheet of recycled paper and write “Do 1 teaching box” on it. Then put it in the first Monday of the month in your SwiftFile. Then move the paper to the first Monday of the next month, and so on. If you’ve moved the paper 20 times and nothing has happened, what does that tell you?
--Q: How about organizing reading material, coupons, etc.?
--A: I sort my reading material by where I read it. I have a magazine rack by my hot tub, and put certain reading material in there. I have material that I read only when I’m traveling, and by the time I come back home, I’ve read it and gotten rid of it, and filled the space with the papers I collect on my trip. You need a system for catalogs and medical records, etc. – there’s a different solution for each one.

In addition to a copy of the PowerPoint presentation, we also got a copy of BH’s Productive Environment ScorecardTM for Individuals. BH said she completes this every January to evaluate her progress. Some things go up and some go down.

Cookbook Wars

When I taught high school English, I waged three major campaigns:

(1) Try to get at least 5 hours of sleep each night.

(2) Catch students smoking in the female student bathroom next door to my classroom by using my youthful good looks to trick them into thinking I was a student also, though my conservative, decidedly UN-teenaged trendy clothes should have given it away, so that when I walked into the bathroom, they didn't immediately flush the evidence down the toilet. You'd think they'd learn to stop smoking in THAT bathroom, at least.

(3) Impress upon star-struck adolescents that cheating (which includes plagiarism) does NOT get you far in life, despite numerous multi-millionaire athletes' doping actions to the contrary.

It turns out that there's a controversy surrounding the new cookbook written by Jerry Seinfeld's wife Jessica. I bought Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food [published October 2007] because I liked the premise, the book's format is easy-to-use, and including comments from the Seinfeld kids (and Jerry) about the recipes is a clever addition. I was pleasantly surprised (or not surprised?) to find great humor throughout the book as Seinfeld tackles the monumental job of trying to get kids to eat healthy food.

But Missy Chase Lapine, the author of The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, claims that Jessica Seinfeld plagiarized her book [published April 2007].

You can read about the lawsuit Lapine has brought against Seinfeld here. I hope that the allegation isn't true, but we'll see how it plays out.

In the mean time, student plagiarizers beware. Teachers know that you really DON'T write that well, and that if you were smarter, you wouldn't pick the very first article that appears in your Google search to plagiarize.

Finally found it

The world's smallest car.

I thought I'd found it in Spain:

Boy, was I wrong. Be sure to watch the whole video - it's hilarious.

I am not alone!

There are so many other people out there who make lists - by hand - that someone started a blog about it (apparently a long time ago) and now it's a book.

I have already written a few times about how I am a compulsive list-maker (on paper), but this is fabulous news!

Speaking of which, today's to-do list (which I call "TTD" for Things To Do):

--Plan the menu for the week
--Buy menu items at Wal-Mart
--Clean the master bathroom
--Fold clothes
--And, GET SOME WORK DONE: like,

• Return phone calls
• Update work website
• Upload more archives to new work website
• Start processing the next batch of subscriptions
  

Sigh. I love lists.

My New Favorite Blog

One of my favorite scenes from Friends is the one where Joey is trying to apologize to Ross, but he says "I'm sorry" using air quotes. Classic encapsulation of how people can misuse the quotes.



I just saw this offering on the Blogger Dashboard: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. Though it seems to cover only misused quotation marks, it has the feel of Lynn Truss's book, Eats, Shoots and Leaves. You can view - and submit - examples of abused quotation marks, and the blogger's commentary is pretty funny, too.

(In case you're wondering, yes, that 's IS supposed to follow Truss, as Lynn Truss is ONE PERSON. Hence, the singular possessive 's is correct!! You don't just put a lone [plural] apostrophe at the end just because the word ends in s. Read your Strunk & White, people!)

Sorry. My favorite English class in college was Modern English Grammar.

Distracted

I was going to write about something else, but got distracted by the update on my Blogger Dashboard. So instead of writing what I'd originally planned, which I can't even remember what that was anyway, I've spent the last 10 minutes watching the new toy Blogger just came up with, called Blogger Play.

This is almost as addictive as CuteOverload. You can watch a slideshow of the latest pictures that have been posted to people's blogs. It's interesting that probably half of the photos appear to be from countries other than the U.S. (At least, at the time I was viewing. The foreign languages kind of give it away, not to mention pictures of obviously European architecture.)

I even saw a scrapbook page go by - from the blog of a French woman who does amazing work, along with her friends, who all have a site that showcases their pages. Not surprising that a country with a famous sense of fashion would also create beautiful scrapbook pages. I think I'll go crawl into my amateur scrapbook hole now.

"New" Type of Breast Cancer Out There

Don't worry - this is not a somber announcement. As a "member" of the FlyLady crowd, I receive emails from the awesome Flylady.net. Once a month, an email goes out to remind women to perform a monthly breast exam to detect breast cancer in the form of lumps.

This month, FlyLady included a link to a shocking story about a different kind of breast cancer that is more aggressive and under the radar - unknown even to many doctors and cancer centers.

It's called Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC), and lumps are NOT part of the symptoms. This cancer is so unknown that by the time women are diagnosed with it, they are in Stage 4 - and there is no Stage 5.

Read more about what symptoms to look for, and, unfortunately, how little is known about this less-heard-of but no less important type of breast cancer.

Go pink!

Seeing Red

Apparently, "REDHEADS are becoming rarer and could be extinct in 100 years, according to genetic scientists.... Some experts say that redheads could be gone as early as 2060, but others say the gene can be dormant for generations before returning."

According to the story, less than two per cent of the world's population has natural red hair. (HT: Evangelical Outpost.) Natural is the key word there.

In my forays, I had noticed the scarcity of red hair; now my observations have the weight of fact behind them (well, scientific speculation, anyway - is that an oxymoron?). Strangers comment all the time on my hair, though my sense of brutal honesty compels me to confess - to said total strangers - that my color, alas, is fake.

When women decide to color their hair, I think blonde is probably the preferred favorite. I was naturally blonde once. Now I'm naturally gray with a red facade.

John has declared many times that I should lose the red and go au naturel and embrace my gray. My response has consistently been: "I am picking -- years old. I am TOO YOUNG to be gray!!" I don't have kids yet. I just left my 20s. If I had never been a teacher, I think my hair would have remained mousy brown (not a beautiful brown) a bit longer. (I never think it coincidence that the gray began to appear my first year of teaching.)

But one can't remain red forever. I think it would look too obvious when I'm 50 or 60 with great red hair and no gray in sight. (Though my aunt's mother is in her 80s and still retains her natural brown-black color. Unfair!) I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to transition to natural color - in 20 or 30 years. Go to the salon and have them strip the color? Go blonde first as a transitional color and then phase to gray?

I am still not exactly sure how I arrived at red in the fall of 2000. I had never colored my hair before, or even gotten highlights. Then I became friends with Christy S.L., and anyone who knows her knows her strong personality! She wanted to dye or highlight her hair or something and asked me to help her. Somehow, at the store, it turned into picking a color for ME and then - I still don't understand how this happened - I bought a box of Clairol in some "safe" shade of red.

The ironic part is that after we finished, my hair looked like it had a slight red tinge, barely there, like we hadn't just gone to all the trouble. Surprisingly, I was disappointed the change wasn't more dramatic. A quick phone call to Clairol confirmed that while immediately coloring your hair again is not the best thing, it's not absolutely taboo, either. Back to the store for a stronger shade of red, and the second time proved drastically successful. A few months later, after only one more drugstore box, I took the financial plunge and went Salon. (Streaky red/brown/gray at-home dye jobs are not pretty.)

And when John and I got engaged, another sign confirmed this was Twu Luv: He put my hair appointments into our married budget.

But this article on the growing scarcity of redheads prompted some introspection:

(1) I personally don't have to worry about "extinction." At least, until I schedule it myself at the hair salon when I reach middle age.

(2) Perhaps this means I will grow more unique as time passes. Children will stop to stare and ask, "Mommy, what is that?" "Why, that's what we called a Redhead, dear. Stop staring and go ask for her autograph."

Darra, though she started out with lots of black markings, has really grown into her own red coloring (all natural, of course). We have almost the same color. (Really, is that good or bad, to "match" your dog??!)

Walking In Memphis

In the words of Chandler, could that title BE more uncreative?

As John mentioned, we were in Memphis last week, working at the PCA's annual General Assembly. John worked the exhibition booth for his company, and I worked the booth for mine, trying to generate more subscriptions for the magazine.

We did manage to play the part of tourists and see some of the sights, including (unintentionally) the city jail. (After reading that, I realized it needed explanation: because we WALKED past it, not because we were sent there. Smarty pants.)

First, we visited the famous Peabody Hotel to watch the March of the Ducks. There is a Peabody in Orlando, but for some reason we never made it to that one. I had a good spot at the ropes to catch the action - which lasted all of 1 minute at about 5:04 p.m., after a short speech about the history of the tradition.

They stroll down the red carpet and onto the elevator. We didn't go see their suite on the 5th? floor, though you can visit if you want. The Assistant Duckmaster (in the red coat) said that most of the time, they behave well, but once in a while, they can do the unexpected. He didn't elaborate.
We also walked a million blocks to get to Sun Studios, the studio that first recorded Elvis as well as Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and others. Here's John sitting in front of a famous photo (which I'd never heard of before this tour) of (l-r) Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Elvis, and Johnny Cash. It was an impromptu jam session in 1956 that came to be called The Million Dollar Quartet.

It's a small building, and the tour basically consists of 2-3 rooms, but it is worth it. The guide is hilarious. Below, he's standing in the recording studio with one of the original microphones that was used by all the legends - in fact, the same one that Elvis is using in the picture behind the guide. You could line up and get your picture taken behind the mike, though we didn't do that. The guide said, "I am required to say this: Please do not lick or kiss the microphone. It has germs from a lot of people on it. Plus, it's gross."

Today, the studio still has the original soundproof tiles (or whatever they're called - the white tiles with the tiny holes), and two X's on the floor mark the spots - one where a hole was drilled into the floor to hold the string bass (back then, they didn't have rubber stoppers on the bottom), and one X to mark where Elvis stood to sing while he recorded. You can't really see them in the picture though, sorry!

Then we went to Graceland, which is located on Elvis Presley Boulevard. We debated over whether to buy the Mansion tour ($25), or the Platinum tour ($30) which also includes tours of the airplanes, car museum, and costume museum. We splurged and paid for the Platinum tour. (Note: If you're a car buff, it's worth the extra money. If you don't care about the cars or the planes, just stick with the basic package.)

From the car museum, this is the pink Cadillac that belonged to Elvis's mother (and here's a Free Elvis English Lesson: if the singular noun ends in an "s," you are STILL SUPPOSED to add the 's to it! Just because it already ends in "s" doesn't mean it stops being singular!!!! As many fans would probably say, There is only one Elvis!! Sorry, Elvis Stojko.):

I didn't take notes on what kind of car this is, but someone else out there probably knows. It sure looks cool, though:

The larger plane, called the Lisa Marie, is more interesting than the small one, which only seats about 8 passengers and looks like the inside of a bag of Skittles. The Lisa Marie contains typical 60s-70s decor: dark paneling and velour. It also boasts a 24-carat gold-plated sink in the lavatory. Nothing was mentioned about the toilet itself, which is actually the leather ottoman-ish object on the right.

Located at the back of the plane, next to the second bathroom that contained a hairdresser's chair, is this double bed. You'll notice the bed has a seatbelt on it, not because Elvis was quirky but because FAA regulations required it. Harder to see is the 24-carat gold-plated BUCKLE on the seatbelt. All of the seatbelts on the plane were gold-plated. People, we can't make this stuff up.

On to the mansion, which was very pretty on the outside, like a small southern plantation.

Then you walk inside, and the blast of 60s decor almost knocks you over. Surprisingly (don't shoot!), I did kind of like the living room on the right when you first walk in the door. The color scheme is white, royal blue, white, gold, and white. It's the least obnoxious room in the house, next to Elvis's parents' bedroom.

In the basement is the entertainment room, with 3 TVs; Elvis heard the President watched several TVs simultaneously and liked the idea. This room is decorated in overpowering yellow and navy blue and makes me realize that our guest room, painted a more muted shade of yellow, could be much worse.

I couldn't believe this pool room. Pool rooms are supposed to be masculine, aren't they? (Hey, dark paneling would actually WORK here.) But instead, the poor macho guys are supposed to play pool in a room covered - literally floor to ceiling - in fabric? Really, really busy fabric? It feels like the room is shrinking in on you.

Moving back upstairs, we passed the famous Jungle Room, a moniker chosen by fans who toured the house when it first opened to the public, not assigned by Elvis himself. It's an apt description of a room that contains odd-shaped wood furniture, a tree-trunk coffee table, and animal skins. And the vital green shag carpet - on the floor AND on the ceiling.

There's also a room that contains some furniture from the upstairs level of the house, since the tour does not include the second floor. This white, furry bed with a built-in stereo was originally in Elvis's dressing room upstairs. That is all the information about it that the tour provided, and that is all the information I want to know. (The blue object on it is a shirt or something.)

The last stop on the mansion tour is the gravesite of Elvis and his parents and grandmother, who all lived with him at Graceland. There's a sign that mentions how Graceland receives tons of flower arrangements and stuffed animals all the time to put at the gravesite, especially around his birthday and the anniversary of his death. Elvis's burial site is second from the left.

Then we visited the costume museum. You can walk through and read about each one, and they all have titles. I think our walk through lasted a grand total of 2 minutes. The costumes all seem like the same basic "suit," but with a different beading and bejeweling pattern.

Overall, it was interesting and I certainly learned a lot about Elvis. But the mansion tour felt more like a shrine to the decorating of the 60s and 70s than Elvis's house. (Elvis fans, don't send me hate mail. Not everyone thinks Elvis is the best thing since sliced bread. And That's OK. Really.)

On the way home, we Strayed From the Plan (gasp!) and stopped by the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama. We ended up only buying books, but they have everything under the sun there, including the proverbial kitchen sink. And hubcaps, sewing machines, brand-new bedspreads from Target, pots and pans, expensive cameras, clothing straight from European runways, wedding dresses, and lamps.

On the walls of the beautiful old house that serves as the "Book Nook," framed articles from newspapers and magazines hang. The articles state that contrary to popular belief, only 0.005% of bags remain permanently unclaimed, after extensive efforts by airlines to find the owners. In its history, the Center has opened bags to find legitimate ancient Egyptian artifacts, jewels worth tens of thousands of dollars (that are examined by a gemologist and then sold at half price), and even a guidance system for an F-16 fighter jet (which was returned, not sold!). I could have easily spent all day among the clothes, so I didn't even start to browse.

Our trip, By the Numbers:

Ducks at the Peabody: 5
Subscriptions sold at General Assembly (approx.): 1,000
Books bought: 12
Free books picked up at other booths: 8
T-shirts acquired: 5 (3 free ones from Covenant College, 2 bought at the Hard Rock Cafe)
Days away from Darra: 7
Number of bite-sized candy pieces I ate from my own booth's supply: Um, I lost track
Average temperature in Memphis during the trip: 91 degrees F
Number of hours worked daily at the booth: 12
Number of General Assembly worship services: 3
Number of PCA laptops stolen from the Internet cafe area: 1
Rides on the downtown trolley: 3
Smoothies bought for me by a stranger who's a male: 1
Books read on the trip: 2
Hours of TV watched in the hotel room: 7 (since we don't have cable at home)
The #1 most surprising fact learned about Elvis: He was a big reader
The #2 most surprising fact learned about Elvis: He gave a lot of money to charities
Not-so-subtle nags from my mom about how long it's been since I posted last: 1
How long it took to create this post: 2 hours

Name Game

When John and I registered at Target, we discovered that Somewhere, there was another girl with my (married) name, also registered at Target and getting married in the same month.

Here's to show how uncommon I am, however:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 3 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

(HT: Bill)

The stats:

• There are 223,477 people in the U.S. with my first name.
• Statistically the 288th most popular first name (tied with 2 other first names).
• More than 99.9 percent of people with my name are female.
• There are 4,530 people in the U.S. with my last name.
• Statistically the 7501st most popular last name (tied with 60 other last names).

I also tried this with Darra's name and got a big "0." Her name isn't even in that website's database. See how unique she is!

April Forgotten Day

Caught in a fog of jetlag, April Fool's Day came and went in a blur. Didn't even think about it until reading a friend's blog about a (surprise, surprise) Photoshop prank.

I need to pay more attention - Gmail had a funny joke for April 1 that makes you wonder how many people fell for it. Make sure you click on the "Learn More" link for testimonials!

Clever, those Gmail people.

Vacanze Romane

On Friday, we got back from our Roman holiday. We blew the diet and ate authentic Italian food, and saw the sights of Rome, like:

The Coliseum

What's left of the Temple of Saturn (king of the Roman gods)

In the Vatican, St. Peter's basilica, the biggest Catholic Church in the world

A modern art exhibit called "Trash People" in the Piazza del Popolo; it consisted of 1,000 figures made of trash, serving as a commentary on today's consumer culture (the white blob at the "neck" is someone's kleenex they stuffed in there!).

We also got up close and personal with some sheep when we visited the catacombs at the edge of the city. Sheep are LOUD.

We visited a beautiful art museum located on the property of a wealthy cardinal who collected the art in the 16th-17th century; the surrounding land is now a beautiful public park for runners and people walking dogs.

The city is an interesting mix of the ancient and the modern, like this "gladiator" reading the daily paper. I had to sneak this picture; otherwise, you have to pay for the privilege.

Naturally, we (I) bought a few souvenirs, including some scarves at this store; we were disappointed to find out that the cat advertised for 5 euros was, in fact, NOT for sale. Yes, this is a real cat.

And then finally it was time to head home.

By The Numbers:

Fettucine alfredo: 1 meal
Spaghetti: 3 meals
Pizza: Lost count
Plane trip home: 10 hours, 15 minutes
Trips to gelaterias (that sell gelato): 4
Rainy Days: 2
Visits to McDonalds: 1 (only had Cokes!)
Number of times Valerie sat down on a toilet outside the hotel room: None
Tombs/crypts visited: Hundreds, counting the catacombs
Number of times we saw the current pope: None
Paintings bought: 3 small watercolors
Books bought: 9
Books read during trip: 4 (John) and 2 (Valerie)
Average price per slice of bread brought to the table as an appetizer: 1 euro
Woke up an hour earlier than planned: Once
Visits to supermarket: 1
Number of times John's mom was approached by a street vendor: Every time she walked out the door
Number of times John's mom was aggressively surrounded by women begging for money for their babies (who are already provided for by the Italian government): Once
Modes of travel used: 6 (car, plane, train, bus, bicycle, walking)
Meals at the Hard Rock Cafe: 1
T-shirts bought at the Hard Rock Cafe: 2
Visits to the fabulous Fabriano stationery store, which was established in the year 1264: 2
Pictures taken on the trip: 697
What it feels like to sleep in one's own bed again: Priceless