Who Am I?

A wonderful reminder of who we are in Christ, from today's sermon. I was writing very fast to keep up, so some of these are shorter than what was on the screen.

Remember who you are!

WHO AM I?

I am the salt of the earth. (Mt. 5:13)

I am the light of the world. (Mt. 5:14)

I am a child of God. (Jn. 1:12)

I am part of the true vine. (Jn. 15:1)

I am Christ’s friend. (Jn. 15:15)

I am a slave of righteousness. (Ro. 6:18)

I am a joint heir with Christ. (Ro. 8:17)

I am a new creation. (2 Cor. 5:17)

I am a temple where God dwells. (1 Cor. 3:16, 6:19)

I am a member of Christ’s body. (1 Cor. 12:27, Eph. 5:30)

I am reconciled to God, and I am also a minister of reconciliation. (2 Cor. 5:18, 19)

I am a saint. (Eph. 1:1)

I am God’s workmanship, His handiwork born to do His work. (Eph. 2:10)

I am a citizen of heaven. (Phil. 3:20)

I am a child of light, not of darkness. (1 Thess. 5:5)

I am a member of a chosen race called by God. (1 Ptr. 2:9-10)

I am an enemy of the devil. (1 Ptr. 5:8)

I am born of God. (1 Jn. 5:18)

He justified me. (Ro. 5:1)

Fearful People vs. Faith-filled People

I read an article that reflects on Psalm 37 in Revive, the publication of Life Action Ministries where my brother works. This recent issue was about fear and worry - how appropriate for these times!

Here's the last section, that I need to put on a poster and hang on the wall or something:

"Faith is the antidote to fear. Fearful and faith-filled people experience the same circumstances, but faith-filled people respond by depending on God. Am I a fearful or a faith-filled person?"

There's also a comparison chart that highlights how the two different types of people approach life's trials. I had to check off all the statements on the "fearful people" side. Ouch. Need to read up again on God's promises - and His faithfulness (ahem, which was also the topic of last week's sermon!).

Encouragement on Sunday

The sermon at church yesterday was simple but powerful. Thought I'd share some points that really encouraged me:

Redeemer Presbyterian
April 19, 2009
Dan Seale
Luke 24:13-35
"Burning Hearts"

-On the cross, Jesus had said, "It is finished" triumphantly, but the disciples and His followers only heard defeat

-The disciples felt that Jesus had let them down with His death on the cross, that He had disappointed them; they were probably angry and confused

-The same thing happens to us when things don't turn out the way we think they should. Satan steps in with the age-old lie: that God doesn't care and doesn't love us. We think, "If God really loved me, He would [fill in the blank]."

-These 2 disciples on the road to Emmaus weren't theologically ignorant (v. 19-23), but they still didn't "get it": In verse 21, they say, "we had hoped ...." They were looking for an earthly messiah to rescue them from the Romans.

-These disciples had read the Scriptures selectively and believed selectively

-How often do WE read the Bible selectively, and believe selectively??

-Disappointment is a function of expectation.

-We have expectations of Jesus for things He never promised (like the classic "God wants me to be happy" - the Bible never says that!).

-And we're surprised when we receive what He DID promise (suffering, hardship).

-V. 25-26: Jesus wants these disciples to examine the Word

-V. 27: Instead of doing what He did with Thomas ("See, My hands, My feet, My side; it really is Me, risen"), Jesus explains the Scriptures to these 2 disciples --- He wants to Word to take root in their hearts. He reviews the Old Testament prophecies about the Messiah and how they have now been fulfilled.

-Their hearts were "burning" not necessarily because they were speaking to Him in person (they didn't even know it was Him at the time), but because He was speaking to them about the Word

-When was the last time your heart "burned" from reading the Word?

-Don't read the Word out of your life and experiences; read your life and experiences out of the Word

-The disciples urged Jesus (the "stranger") to stay with them because it was probably late; they had come all the way from Jerusalem and it would have been unsafe to continue on the road at night. BUT after their "eyes were opened" and they realized they were with Jesus (then He disappeared), they left right away (v. 33) to make the long trek back to Jerusalem to tell the others that they had seen Him and talked with Him.

-The good news of Jesus and the Scriptures prompted them urgently to share the truth with the others.

-God comforts His people through His Word

Morning Reading

I put together some kick-in-the-pants verses, along with some encouraging ones, to read in the morning after my alarm clock goes off, which hopefully will be followed by getting out of bed instead of lying there for another hour, worrying over all the things that need to be done that day. (Obviously, I can get a good start on those things by getting up and DOING them rather than lying about, stressing over the thought of them.) Beginning with my favorite admonishing proverb:

"How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."
-Proverbs 6:9-11

"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." -Proverbs 13:4

"[Your compassions] are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:23

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." -Psalm 68:19

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I'll probably add to the list as I find additional appropriate verses. These are next to the alarm clock, ready for morning.
Even if I'm not.

Enter: Mr. Rogers or Robert Frost

One of our neighbors called last week to ask a favor. She was scheduled to have outpatient surgery, but her planned ride home had to cancel (a heart attack is a pretty good excuse). She asked if I could pick her up at 10:30 on Monday. Since I work from home and my schedule is flexible, it was not a problem. I arrived, as planned, at 10:30 a.m., expecting a short wait before driving the neighbor home.

I planned my menu for the week.

I hadn't done my daily Bible reading yet, and hadn't thought to bring my Bible, but there was a KJV Bible in the waiting room. Tried to read my three chapters and gave up after 10 verses, leaving it for when I got back home.

Talked on the phone for an hour with a friend.

Made a few lists.

Watched a surprisingly good kids' cartoon on Disney that cleverly includes classical music (but without a bunny or a duck).

3 hours later, I got home, after helping my (thirtysomething) neighbor into her house and making sure she was settled with everything she needed.

I'll admit, I was a little impatient about the delay, but I AM the Girl Scout Who Was Never A Girl Scout: I am always prepared. I'd brought paper to write on, books to read, and things to do, though I did forget a snack, which I usually also bring. I actually got several things done on my list of things to do that day, without the distractions of home (read: dog, Internet, laundry).

But I was doing something that not many people have the opportunity to do, and that, sadly, I have done rarely: Love my neighbor.

The church we attended in Florida has excellent evangelistic outreaches, which they describe as "loving your neighbor in a practical way." Providing free water bottles at the beach, as one church member builds a fantastically complex sand castle (he's won competitions). Washing the windshields of cars whose owners are attending the public elementary school graduation being held at the church. And other ideas that provide a forum for talking to people about Christ, while meeting their practical needs at the same time.

With our busy lives and culture of entertainment, it's easy to drive straight into the garage and close the door without ever saying hello to a neighbor. These days, the definition of neighbor is "stranger." But being a neighbor is more than just living next door to someone. It's sacrificing time for them, just as you would for a relative or a close friend. It's serving them without expecting anything in return. It's taking an interest in them, far beyond sizing up whether you can trust them or not to pick up your mail while you're on vacation.

The Bible doesn't provide a modern context when it instructs us to love our neighbor. But other passages point the way: Care for the widows and orphans. (Maintain the small backyard of the single mom next door, who lets the yard go because she has cancer.) Share with those in need. (Instead of selling things at a garage sale, set them out on the driveway with a "Free" sign, or join freecycle.org.) Practice hospitality. (Not just with the new people you meet at church, but also with new families who move into the neighborhood.)

This past week was the annual missions emphasis week at our church, to remind us of the lost all over the world and to support missionaries in their global work. It was also a reminder that I don't have to travel to another country to love and serve the lost. I can start with the neighbors on my street.

A Closer Look at Tamar

My Bible study this semester on the book Lost Women of the Bible has been interesting, learning about the cultural backgrounds and putting oneself in the shoes of biblical women (for lack of a better description!). The women in my Bible study group aren't shy about speaking up, which makes for lively discussion.

This week's chapter on Tamar fostered some interesting conversations, especially since Tamar is usually held up as a model of what NOT to do. When we think about Tamar, we usually think "prostitute." But Matthew's genealogy of Jesus includes only 4 women, one of whom is Tamar - and all of whom were "four Gentiles best known for their sexual escapades," as author Carolyn Custis James says. Why mention them in the lineage of Jesus? Why not include the great matriarchs like Sarah or Rebekah? In the rest of the chapter, James answers that question regarding Tamar.

Reading and discussing this chapter shed light in three areas for me. The first was a cultural understanding of the marriage and inheritance customs of the time. Tamar's first husband, Judah's oldest son, died (technically, was so wicked, God struck him dead - a coincidence his name was Er?).

Custom said for her to marry the next son, Onan, in order to carry on Er's line and pass the dead man's inheritance to a son. Next-in-line Onan, who obediently married Tamar, was not so obedient in the mandate to bear a son for his dead brother. The Bible doesn't really explain WHY Onan did what he did (or, rather, what he didn't do...); it gives the fact that Onan knew the child wouldn't be "his offspring" and records Onan's punishment. Really, Onan, was it such an odious task?

However, James explains that according to the inheritance laws of the time (I'll skip the math) Onan was going to inherit even more than what Er would have inherited as the eldest son. BUT if Onan and Tamar produced a son, the son would inherit Er's share, leaving Onan with his original small portion. (James also points out some other risks that Onan might have considered.) Instead of full obedience, Onan chose the route of selfishness and greed - and he paid the consequences.

James writes, "The stakes were high. It required extraordinary sacrifice that modern readers don't naturally appreciate, but God routinely calls his people to make sacrifices for one another. Sacrifice for the good of others comes with being his image bearer."

And that's the second idea - not that I didn't "know" that, but just being reminded in a fresh way that God expects us to sacrifice, and it's not easy. We forget what sacrifice means: "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." Something prized or desirable - like our will and our plans. James highlights that a lost lesson we can learn from Tamar's story is that of sacrifice.

The third aspect that stood out while reading this chapter was a reminder to look at the big picture. What is really going on here? James describes how the tale of Judah and Tamar appears in the midst of the chapters about Joseph, when the reader is impatient to find out what happens to Joseph in Egypt. An odd spot to throw in a seemingly random story about one of Joseph's brothers.

But the story about Tamar is also the story of Judah. He led the brothers in selling Joseph as a slave (Genesis 37:23-27), and James describes his continued fall: Judah "migrated into Canaanite territory. He lived among Canaanites, forged alliances with Canaanites, married a Canaanite woman, and ultimately started behaving like one. ... He seemed indifferent to his wicked sons...."

However, Judah's encounter with Tamar shook him up - and turned him around. Later, after Judah has reunited with his brothers and they leave to find food in Egypt, their meeting with Joseph reveals that Judah is a changed man. Judah offers himself as a slave to Joseph, to take Benjamin's place, and it was by this act that Joseph knew his brothers had changed.

Upon Tamar's shocking and public revelation that he is the father of her child, Judah finally repents of his actions and acknowledges, "She is more righteous than I." He had told Tamar that she could marry his youngest son and didn't fulfill the obligation; he didn't work to carry on his oldest son's name and therefore devalued the line of Abraham and God's promise; he left Tamar waiting in disgrace at her father's house; he sought out and slept with what he thought was a prostitute. (James points out, why else would Tamar think such a scheme as pretending to be a prostitute would work? Because she knew Judah's character, and he didn't even waste time on small talk.)

There is more discussion on this in the book, but James provides background and insight into Genesis 38 that offers additional - positive - lessons that can be learned from Tamar's story.

James also addresses the legacy that Tamar leaves behind at other points in the Bible:

When Boaz (a man of impeccable character and a direct descendant of Judah) took Ruth to be his wife, the elders of Bethlehem honored their union with a heartfelt blessing for Boaz that ended, 'May your family be like that of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah' (Ruth 4:12, emphasis added). If Tamar is some scandalous skeleton in the family closet, why would anyone bring her up on a holy occasion like this? One would think that this was the height of bad taste and an embarrassment to the family. Yet Tamar is named without apology in a statement intended to honor the bride and groom.

Add to this the fact that just a few generations later, her name resurfaced twice when King David and his son Absalom both named their beautiful daughters after their great-great-grandmother Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1; 14:27), a fact all the more puzzling because back then a name was more than a label. It represented a person's character and destiny.

While I still can't figure out how Tamar's particular action was "righteous," I do have a deeper understanding of her motives and the story itself. Judah wasn't walking with God, and God worked his redemption through Tamar.

Bible Study for Fall 2007

Our church offers several women's Bible studies on Wednesday morning, and the Bible study I'm in this semester is using a book called Lost Women of the Bible, by Carolyn Custis James.

The premise of the book is to recover "lost" women who appear in the Bible but have been categorized and stereotyped and labeled one way or another (by us, as we interpret the Bible), thereby diminishing the lessons that can be learned from their stories. From the Introduction:

Today, when we pick up our Bibles, we want to know how to be better wives and mothers. But we have other questions too. We want to know what the Bible says to those of us whose lives don't follow the traditional formula. Is there only one biblical track for women, or does God intend and take delight in our great diversity? Are women second-class citizens in God's family, or does he value us as much as he does our husbands and brothers? ...

Looking closer [at these stories], I began to see many women who, like me, didn't fit neatly into the traditional paradigm. Strong women like Tamar, Rahab, Deborah, Jael, Priscilla, and Junia have always posed problems for interpreters because biblical writers clearly admired these women and held them up as outstanding examples of godliness even though their conduct broke with accepted convention. They were daring, took the initiative, and courageously exercised leadership, even in their interactions with men. To resolve the conflict this poses, biblical interpreters often downsize their contributions to leave a more "suitable" impression or else reclassify them as "exceptions," thereby removing their portraits from the gallery of acceptable role models for Christian women. ...

Upon closer inspection, I discovered many women in the Bible had trouble fitting into the wife-and-mother definition of what it means to be a woman. They clearly embraced traditional expectations and tried desperately to live within those parameters, but ultimately found it impossible. ...

[Through the stories of these women], I learned God has a larger vision for women than I realized, a vision that encompasses the vast diversity of all our lives and that calls us to be more. It was clear, as I believed all along, that the Bible strongly affirms our significance as wives and mothers, but I was stunned to learn God values us just as much when our lives follow other paths. ...

[As I studied their stories, some] of these women tumbled off their pedestals - a painful process to watch, but also necessary if we want a realistic portrayal and not some airbrushed version of a woman to whom we can't relate. The Bible exposes their blemishes so we can see ourselves and gain a deeper sense of God's unrelenting love for his lost daughters. Some women were rehabilitated when my study uncovered stunning levels of godliness and the powerful influence of their lives on others.

After reading the Introduction a few weeks ago at the start of the Bible study, I was suspicious - is this a feminist interpretation hiding in conservative clothing? While I looked forward to learning new things about "old" stories that I've heard all my life, I was also skeptical about how much of the "insight" would really be mere speculation (especially the chapter on "Mrs. Noah").

But it has proven to be an interesting study so far, and I have thought more deeply about the lives of these biblical women than just reading the Bible chapter and moving on, as I've done in the past. There are still times when I feel there might be a little too much speculation, but I can't deny that it makes me examine the Scripture more closely - a sign of a successful study.

Me, Myself, and Efficiency

It's hard for me to sit still and do literally nothing. It's not in me, though John has tried to instill it. I always have to be "getting something done" on my never-ending to-do list. I don't follow the familiar maxim, "Stop and smell the roses." I want to, but I don't have time at that moment; instead, I add it to my list of things to do: Next week - Stop and smell the roses.

My personality, psyche, whatever you want to call it is driven by efficiency and duty. My life is built on a foundation of "shoulds."

I should start dinner.
I should vacuum.
I should give the dog a bath.
I should exercise.
I should stop spending so much money on scrapbooking supplies.
I should do a better job of showing my husband I love him.
I should spend less time on Facebook.
I should write a post for my blog.

And the list goes on. I swim in an ocean of duty with waves of shoulds crashing over me. It is suffocating and overwhelming, living with constant guilt about the shoulds - even valid, good shoulds - that don't get crossed off the list.

In the recent September 22, 2007 issue of World magazine, Andree Seu wrote a column called "The Uselessness of Delight." Its theme struck a chord with me:

Delight is the most useless of things. It doesn't get the house clean or the bills paid. Useless - like flowers. Like rainbows. Like Beethoven's Ninth.... Delight covers a multitude of ... shortcomings.... [It] cannot be hidden. It finds an excuse to ooze all over the place. It seeks a getaway vacation with the beloved when it's not convenient. It asks different questions than duty. Duty says, "I should." Delight says, "I want to." Duty is efficient. Delight tends to be anything but.

What is less efficient than the story of mankind? If it were about efficiency, God would have wiped the plate clean and commenced with more promising subjects.

Ay, there's the rub. I hold up efficiency as an idol, but what if God were as efficient as I (pathetically) strive to be?

Where I would have endorsed tabula rasa, God shucked efficiency and turned to grace instead. I try to be a good imitator of Christ as Scripture urges, but leaning on my own understanding of the task has resulted in a works-based duty that has edged out delight - and grace and love and humility, and all the things God is trying to teach me.

Seu is right. Delight isn't efficient; it can be time-consuming and get in the way. Isn't it sad that I tend to avoid delight because then I can't cross items off my self-important list of things to do.

But delight is important to God. He delights in us (Ps. 147:11, 149:4) . He sees great worth in delight, and also instructs us to delight in Him and His word (Ps. 37:4, 112:1). Delight isn't a waste of time or an interruption of efficiency. It is knowing God deeply and living an abundant life, abundant not because we have everything we want but because we have Him.

This doesn't mean I need to toss my to-do list and throw caution to the wind and stop to smell the roses right when I'm late for an appointment, of course. But I do need to allow what Richard Swenson calls margin into my life so that delight has the opportunity to, well, delight me. Take the time to be still, delighting myself in the Lord so that a stop to smell the roses doesn't conjure up thoughts of inefficiency, but instead refocuses my thoughts on the great God who made the roses.

Hills and Valleys are Out

John's grandma forwarded the transcript of an interview with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life. While I'm familiar with Rick Warren (what media-conscious Christian isn't), I confess, I've never read the book.

But in the interview, he had some powerful insights into what we call the Christian walk. My top 3 quotes from the interview:

(1) "I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for."

(2) "God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings."

(3)
"In the happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
In the difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
In the quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
In the painful moments, TRUST GOD.
And, in every moment, THANK GOD."

Like any good journalist, I tried to find the original source of the interview online, but as I never claimed to be a PERSISTENT journalist, I didn't venture past Page 1 of my Google search. Here is one of the sites that offers what I think is the full text of the interview (which is short).

Close Encounters of the JW Kind

Around 10:30 a.m., the doorbell rang today.

This is an unusual occurrence since we don't know anyone here (besides John's parents, who always call first before a rare unplanned visit). I should have gotten a clue.

Innocently thinking it was a neighbor after looking through the peephole and seeing 2 women, I opened the door to my first-ever Jehovah's Witness experience.

Standing there in my sweaty workout clothes and thinking of Darra in the backyard, unavailable as a convenient excuse to curtail the visit to take her "out," I bowed to the inevitable and listened to the spiel (which seemed aimed at initiating the conversation with the idea of "equality" and people's desire to bridge the gap between the wealthy and the poor).

The whole time I kept thinking, "I should have paid more attention!!" This past semester, the women's ministry at our church offered several group Bible studies to choose from, one of which was When Worldviews Collide. While the book doesn't cover Jehovah's Witnesses (unfortunately; it does such a good job of covering major religions like Islam, Judaism, and Buddhism, as well as New Age philosophy), we had an extra session to cover some information on Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormonism.

Naturally, after the Jehovah's Witnesses left and I closed the front door, I thought of a few things I COULD have said (unfinished chapter notwithstanding). I agreed to take a copy of their Watchtower publication, but I SHOULD have said, "Sure, I'll take a copy - if you take a copy of MY magazine, byFaith."

I've never been good at debate. I'd make a much better member of Mutes Anonymous than the Debate Club.

Later on, thinking about the encounter, I found myself actually looking forward to their (assumed) return, by which time I will have researched Jehovah's Witnesses and ordered Kingdom of the Cults for extra reading. Shocker - ME, The Shy One, rubbing my hands together in anticipation of questioning JWs?

Maybe it's the dog, and her fearlessness and eagerness is rubbing off on me. Or maybe I have it backward, and it's not the D-O-G at all.

Zoning Out

One of my favorite places is my comfort zone. But I didn't spend much time there this past weekend.

First, on Saturday night, John and I danced the night away (til 10:30 p.m.) at the Formal Christmas Dance. We've taken 7 weeks of Ballroom One lessons, learning the foxtrot, the waltz, the rumba, and triple-step swing (or "slow" swing, which I've avoided in the past because it's not as much fun as single-step swing). The ballroom dance community that offers the lessons hosts the Christmas dance to provide an opportunity for people to use the skills they've learned, and of course, show off beautiful dresses. (The camera flash doesn't do justice to the dimmed lights and Christmas decorations that made you forget you're in a gym.)

In spite of the Intimidation Factor, using our lowly Ballroom One skills in front of the Ballroom Three and Bronze people, it was a lot of fun. We also got to know a young couple from our class who sat at our table.

On Sunday afternoon, our subdivision had a Christmas party at the clubhouse. We only knew one family there (barely), so it was a chance to meet our neighbors and Talk To Strangers. People who know me think I'm not shy, but I AM SHY. Trust me on this. I don't describe myself as a mute in high school for nothing.

I went to get some punch, and when I returned, John was deep in conversation with a couple; he was from Nicaragua, and she was from Brazil. They love to dance. We just went to a dance. They want to take lessons when the next round starts in March, and they'd like to go with us to the Saturday night casual practice sessions once a month. We talked about how hard it was for them to learn English, how it's tough to find one's way around the Atlanta area when you're not FROM here!, and about how he wants to go to school to be a pharmacist. She works out in the evenings, so I could go at the same time and have some company!

We had a good time and signed up for some activities where we'll also get to know our older neighbors. (Our subdivision has smaller, ranch houses in the front where many retirees live, and 2-storey family houses are beyond that.)

From there we drove a half hour (which would have been an hour in traffic math) to eat supper with some young couples from the PCA megachurch that's in our area. (The church we attend is one of its many plants.) John had contacted the head of the young couples' group at that church and asked about events, Sunday school, etc. to get plugged in (and not to steal couples to come to our church - not at all).

Over dinner, we laughed a lot with the two other couples who have been married about as long as we have, two years. One of the guys was an eagle scout, just like John. It felt really good to be there. We've missed being around other young couples!

I've been telling God that it's lonely here without other couples and friends to talk to and spend time with, but He can be sly - He knows that part of defeating loneliness involves getting over myself and talking to people. And it's not John's job to do it for me! That's the easy way out.

Me, Myself, and Abimelech

Yesterday in the adventures of Judges, I read about Abimelech, who deserves to be called every name in the book (not the Good Book). People in Shechem paid him in silver to kill his 70 brothers (Judas, much?) so that he could rule the city (Judges 9). Eventually he turned on them and killed them all in a horrible manner, then went on to raze other towns.

Abimelech finally met his end when he reached one town that had sought refuge in a defensive tower. As he prepared to set the tower and everyone in it on fire, a woman threw down a stone and hit him in the head. Knowing he would die from the wound, Abimelech told one of his men to run him through with a sword, JUST so the record books wouldn’t say Abimelech was killed by a woman. So much for equality.

Though I do not have plans to imitate Abimelech, I find that sometimes I do think like him on a smaller, non-violent scale: I care too much about what other people think of me, and I am too focused on earthly things. Abimelech KNEW he was going to die, but he was determined to salvage his earthly posthumous reputation with a ridiculous solution. What does it matter? You’ll be dead! Abimelech, if you cared that much, maybe you should have lived differently! [Obviously, there is a difference in caring what people think about your reputation, the way you dress, etc., as compared to caring about what people think when you stand up for God’s principles.]

Abimelech remained focused on this temporal, fleeting life, as if he was not about to meet his Maker and face judgment for his actions. While I know I’m going to heaven, I don’t act like it. I live as though this world is all there is, holding on to my material possessions with a tight grip. (Though hurricanes help loosen that grip.) I don’t fix my eyes on Jesus; I fix my eyes on what I want to buy next for the house. I forget that when Jesus returns, I’ll have to answer for the life I’ve sort of lived for the Kingdom.

I guess we need a good crack on the head every now and then as a reminder.

Chapter and Verse

In my second year of college, I lived up to the meaning of sophomore by dating a guy I REALLY shouldn’t have. Something didn’t feel right about the relationship, and I kept asking God what I should do.

That was also the year I started writing in a journal because I enjoyed it, and doing so helped me remember what I read during devotions, er, in my Bible that day. The accompanying journal entries that semester are filled with comments like “My sister and her roommate HATE this guy, and they keep asking me why I even talk to him. They think he’s a jerk.”

Day after day, I’d read entries in my college devotional (the now-defunct? Campus Journal) that seemed written just for me: “When we violate God’s law, we may not always have to pay a severe penalty. Sometimes He gives us a warning. It may come through pangs of conscience. It could be through the gentle advice of a friend or a direct rebuke from a family member…. Can I remember a distinct ‘warning ticket’ from God that I neglected?”

I’ve had just a few experiences like that where later, I saw how OBVIOUS it was that God was trying to speak to me, and I just kept saying, “What do you want me to do, God?” Poor God probably felt like banging His head against a wall.

Undoubtedly He felt similar frustration with Gideon in Judges 6. Though I clearly remember learning in Sunday school about the strong Gideon and how he defeated the Midianites while armed with just 300 men and the power of fear, I do not recall being told how, before all that, Gideon was actually kind of a wimp. He didn’t believe what God told him, so he kept asking God for certain signs as confirmation. It’s understandable; we're no different today. “God, SHOULD I marry this person? If you could just point to the verse in the Bible where it says that I should, or just have a skywriting plane post it in the sky, that would be GREAT."

Journey to Judges

Like many procrastinating perfectionists, when I was super busy, I bemoaned the “lack of time” to commit to reading my Bible and praying daily; then when I have the time, it still doesn’t happen regularly. Recently, I felt convicted about not being more devoted to my devotions and determined (once again) to do something about it.

The first step: stop calling it “devotions.” There’s nothing wrong with the term (just like there’s nothing wrong with calling it “quiet time” or “QT” like I did in college, or the popular term used with teens, “Devo”), but for me, the gentle euphemism makes it easier to push it aside in favor of another task. Calling it what it is – reading my Bible and praying, or better yet, “spending time with God” – cuts to the heart and refocuses my attention on WHY I want to do this.

Though I do enjoy reading, for lack of a better word, devotionals (especially Our Daily Bread and Ligonier Ministries’ Table Talk), I decided to bypass them for now, choosing to read the book of Judges “unaided.” As a young child going to church, I learned many stories contained in Judges but hadn’t read them for myself. It has been interesting reading (Ehud and the fat king in Judges 3; the woman Jael who lured the leader of the enemy army into her tent and killed him by hammering a peg into his head, in chapter 4). No wonder Judges gets glossed over in Sunday school. “Um, what lesson can we learn from this story, kids?”