Things I've Learned From My Husband

Well, a few things. I am supposed to be packing up our house right now.

(1) Simplicity. Sometimes as I'm cleaning, I'll notice an item that I've had for years and think, "Do I really need to keep this?? Why do I have it?" And the voice in my head is John, trying to make our lives easier. (Not to mention, saving us headaches in the future when we're packing said items. Ahem.)

(2) The art of self-evaluation. If John wasn't so cynical, he would make a great psychologist. He has a gift for reading people. (But no one would visit a psychologist who would say, "The solution is simple: Stop being an idiot and don't do that anymore.") In our four years of marriage (anniversary on Thursday!), he has come to know me better than I know myself. Seriously. He'll point out things that I never realized about myself (both good and bad). It's shocking. I'm either frightfully oblivious to some things or in serious denial. I'm working on getting to know him just as well, though I know I'll never be on the same par.

(3) Frugality. (Stop snorting, John.) It's true. I AM more frugal than I was when I was single (which amounted to about 5% frugal). The percentage still isn't as high as I - or John - would like it to be, but more often, I do find myself thinking "Why do I need to buy this?" when I'm still IN the store, which is even better than thinking it the next day and then returning something.

(4) Relaxation. Anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I like to be efficient. Not necessarily in a multi-tasking sense, but in spending every minute completing tasks and crossing things off my infinite to-do list. In my mind, there's ALWAYS "something" I could be doing. If I need a break from computer work, I can go do laundry or pull weeds. I'll read a book for pleasure as a break, too, but in terms of "just sitting there," "relaxing," and not doing anything else - that just goes against the way my DNA is put together. John has taught me that IT IS OK, even GOOD to sit and (by my definition) "do nothing," and just take a deep breath and enjoy life and the moment. Granted, right now I do that maybe once a week for 2 minutes, but he's working on it.

(5) "Good enough" is an acceptable standard. Not ALL of the time of course, but for a perfectionist to relent and complete something to a "good enough" level, it's safe to say that progress is being made. Instead of killing myself to reach the unattainable level of Perfection, sometimes it's ok to stop at "good enough." My definition of "good enough" is probably still closer to "perfection" than to "average," but I do have more time to enjoy things in life now instead of stressing out about reaching a ridiculous personal standard. I regress, OFTEN, but you'll hear me say "that's good enough" where I didn't say it in the past.

(6) Discernment. For example, just because a book catches my eye and creates a passing interest in my mind, doesn't mean I have to buy it. If it's an author I've never read before, I check the library first, or add it to my Christmas list. This sure has saved us a lot of money! John periodically (and I mean, OFTEN) culls from his books the ones that he didn't really enjoy or won't read again. I've followed his example, critically examining my shelves for books that I wouldn't recommend to someone else. What remains are books that I truly enjoy and love to lend.