My dress is dead

I've been putting together a list of clothes to take on our cruise next month and trying on dresses for the 3 formal nights (John already has his tux).

It's sort of like shopping, only in your own closet, looking at fancy gowns that haven't been worn since the days of chaperoning Prom and Homecoming as a teacher. (Wearing a fancy gown was the ONLY reason I signed up to chaperone those things.) Naturally, each dress must be tried on since it's been years since I last wore it.

One dress was my favorite, a simple cherry-red strapless floor-length by Jessica McClintock. (Used to LOVE Jessica McClintock and try on dresses for fun at the mall. I'm sure the clerks hated us.) At the time, the store only had one size larger than I needed, and there weren't any more of that dress available in the right size. So I got the dress altered down one size, to the size I needed, even though it felt like I had to lose half my lung capacity to wear it. The red dress was only worn two times, once to a boyfriend's company Christmas party that had a formal theme, and once to Prom in 2003 (sans escort).

Alas, yesterday when I tried on the red dress (key word: TRIED), it became clear that it didn't fit anymore. It fit everywhere except the last 5 inches of zipper. So the problem is not a bigger waist or butt (girls, that's what an A-line cut is for!), but a bigger ... ribcage??

Just to pursue any last shred of hope, I took the dress to be altered today. The seamstress got out the measuring tape and determined that I'd gained 3 inches in my upper storey, based on the zipper gapage. ?!?

So the red dress must go. It's one thing to try to lose weight to fit the butt or waist area, but this particular obstacle cannot be overcome. I'm still trying to decide if this is a GOOD thing. John thinks it is....

R.I.P. Red Dress. It was fun while it lasted.

(That's another teacher in the picture with me.)