Excel At What You Do

Today, I spent over two hours at the public library, not looking at books. I applied for one of the assistant jobs there and was scheduled to take skills tests today that included typing documents in Word, sending an email in Outlook, and working with a spreadsheet in Excel, as well as other, more library-specific tasks involving proofreading and checking. I hadn’t been sure what exactly to expect beyond that, so I also looked up the Dewey Decimal System online (since my worksheet on it for students is buried in boxes), and crammed on the drive to the library.

While I am pretty sure I will get the OTHER job that I’ve applied for (details are still being worked out), I am moving forward with the library one just in case. So I was zooming along on these tests, which are timed and include approximately how long each task should take, thinking how great I was doing and wasn’t the HR person so impressed with how fast I was typing away?

Eventually I reached the Excel portion of the test. My Excel experience basically adds up to neatly aligned lists that do not include numbers. I know how to make the rows and columns look pretty with borders and colors and line up all my information so that when the page is printed, I can check off with a pencil that yes, Susie has indeed turned in each field trip form. I admit, I completely ignore the whole purpose of why Excel exists – to work with numbers and data and have the program do all the math for you using mysterious “functions.”

I completed all the tasks outlined on the Excel test, even figuring out how to insert the simple “Sum” and “Average” functions, but the hardest task stumped me. (I’ll forego the long, boring details.) I couldn’t figure it out, no matter how hard I tried. And with that, it all came back in a flash – the high school madness that makes over-achievers panic if their class rank drops or if they get a B on a test. How could I not fulfill this task? Why doesn’t Excel have a simple “Subtract” function?? Does this mean I won’t get a happy face sticker on my paper when it’s returned to me? Did I forget everything I learned in ninth grade when we watched “Where There’s A Will, There’s An ‘A’” narrated by John Ritter? Too bad there wasn’t some way I could have infused an Excel tutorial into my brain before the test, like on The Matrix.

Finally, I admitted defeat and turned in the test. Before heading out to the car, though, I did have one final task to complete, for myself – I went into the stacks and picked out a good book. That’s one test I’ll always pass.